i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i think my cat just said my name.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
