hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
