omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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