Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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