It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
