A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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