I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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