i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
