you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
that is very illegal...i love you.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
