Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
