I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
