hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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