Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
