I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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