Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
