she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
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