She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize