we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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