Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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