If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
