Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
4 words: hood of his car
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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