turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
