He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
