Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
