remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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