it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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