It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
