she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
