my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
