I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
