Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
