do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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