I need to stop coming to work sober
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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