My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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