guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
