Don't make out with my wife yet
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
