i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
