You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
