there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
