some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize