Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I puked a lego.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
