Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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