i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
