I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
