I want to stick my p in your. b.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
