My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize