oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
