So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
