Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
