Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
