a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
This toilet bowl is my home.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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