Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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