very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
