Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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