I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
