actually, I'm a sock model
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize