we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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