ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
