Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize