Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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