It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
