My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
