I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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