theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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